To the Editor:
Boy, you just don’t know who you can trust anymore. Take those sneaky Canadians, for instance. According to our president, the Canadians burned down the White House in 1812 and none of us knew.
A heartfelt thanks President Donald Trump because we were not aware.
This was followed by the G-7 summit in Canada, when Mr. smarty pants Justin Trudeau said he would respond to U.S. tariffs with tariffs of his own. It’s obvious that the prime minister does not respect his elders, and being a neophyte on the world stage, he should have known the proper response was, “Thank you, sir, may I have another?”
I’m standing with Trump on this one; those ungrateful wretches north of the border are getting a bit too cocksure of themselves for my liking. Sure, I like their walleye pike, but I can get used to fish sticks. As for Canadian geese, they can have them; all they do is crap up our golf courses.
I’m getting hotter by the minute writing this. I say, let’s show them what a “good neighbor policy” looks like as we invade and push them all into the Arctic Circle. Then maybe they’ll learn to respond to our every whim with hat in hand.